Bits

Dealing With Difficult Personalities

Some people in every walk of life lack social self-awareness, thrive on everyday contrarianism, and in the worst cases show the traits the dark triad describes. They seem overrepresented in positions of power, in business management and in politics, partly because many of us admire exactly those traits and elevate them. If you are lucky the cost is annoyance; in extreme cases they can make your life miserable or damage a whole organization, so it pays to know how to handle them.

Check yourself first. Make sure you are not being too sensitive or judging too hastily.
Talk to them once, maybe twice. Some friction is ordinary.
Get a second opinion. Ask a colleague how they deal with the person. If others confirm your read, you are dealing with a genuinely difficult personality.
Escalate through the proper channel. Report the behavior to Human Resources or its equivalent, with specifics.
Do not expect them to change. Getting upset is a waste of energy; these patterns are who they are, and confrontation does not rewire them.
Leave if it does not improve. A toxic workplace can do more damage to you and the people around you than to the company. Quitting is a legitimate outcome.

The collective part is harder: societies that idolize these personalities keep promoting them. Recognizing the pattern is the first defense. The counterweight is the light triad that Scott Barry Kaufman and colleagues proposed: humanism, Kantianism, and faith in humanity. Pure light rarely wins an election and pure dark should never win one, so look for leaders with a balance: enough edge to act, enough decency to be trusted.